Before I had Nathan I would watch parents of boys and think, "Well, that's not what I would allow!" The dumping out of toys, the hitting, the aggressive slamming toys into other things (people included), the crazy wrestling that takes place for fun, etc.
I can honestly say that Nathan is just as sweet as can be. He tells me often, "Love you lot too, Mommy!" Or "Miss you lot too, Mommy!" He's full of kisses, laughter, and... well, aggression.
There have been several times over the past six to eight months when I pick him up from his Sunday School class at church or from his class on Academy Day when the teachers quietly and nicely inform me that they had a problem with Nathan hitting and grabbing toys from others. I always tell them I'm sorry and that we're working on it, but what am I to do once the class is over and done? I never, ever had a teacher talk to me privately about Kaeley unless it was to praise how smart she was about the Bible or God or how well she articulates.
Yesterday I was informed that they had had a problem with hitting... again... I should have taken that as a clue that I shouldn't go to the playground with our classmates, but Kaeley and I always have fun, and Nathan seemed fine at the moment, so I went. I think he must have been tired, because all he wanted to do was sit with me on the blanket. I usually don't mind cuddling with him, but I had Alynna on my lap as well, who was grabbing at my clothes, growling in my ear, and stepping all over me. Plus, I was trying to talk to a friend, and Nathan kept on chattering in my ear. I also love his baby squeaky voice, but there's only so much I can take! After Nathan dumped a bottle of really cold water all over my foot I kicked him off the picnic blanket and told him to go play.
Nathan played well for the first half of our time out, but a while later I noticed him standing on the platform of a play structure smiling. He was watching another little boy climb up a curved ladder towards him. This turned out to be a great position to kick the little boy in the chest! I was mortified and raced to him screaming, "No!" as fast as I could. He found this quite funny and ran off laughing. I caught up with him just as the other mother approached us asking what happened. I held Nathan's hands tightly in mine while I explained, and Nathan took the opportunity gnaw at my fingers in frustration! The mother was nice about it, but she went on to tell me that Nathan had taken a hard toy in class that day and whacked her son on the back of the head for no apparent reason.
I can't even tell you how embarrassed I was! I called my mom later and told her what happened and ended up crying! I felt powerless as a mom. I hate it when brats bite, hit, or are mean to my precious children and here I was, being the best parent I know how to be, trying to contain a child who hits! I never thought that would happen to me, so I feel the reality of parenting more than one child slapped me in the face.
I forcefully strapped Nathan into the stroller, turned his back to us while he screamed and kicked, and tried to maintain my composure while talking about the joys of boys with an understanding friend.
Nathan later calmed down enough to apologize to the little boy and his mother.
About ten minutes later I found Kaeley and Nathan far away from the playground structure, so I called them back. Nathan flat out told me no, so I had to go get him. He screamed and fought with me all the way back to the blanket. I, of course, had had enough of this and we packed up and left immediately.
So, let this be a sincere apology to my friends who I judged, because I had one little girl at the time. All I can say is, "I didn't know. I didn't know."
And just in case my precious boy takes a swipe at yours, please know that we're working on it. We're working on it.
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