The Birds and the Bees

Having a three year old is very... um... stimulating. While reading books today I saw a picture of eggs in a nest. I asked Nathan if Mommy had babies in eggs or in a uterus. He said a "radius". Okay, very good. Check that one off the list. He got that. We often read a book by Usborne about the human body that's geared for his age and a little older. So, good, he's obviously paid attention to the last chapter.

Then I asked if he was hatched from an egg or was grown in Mommy's uterus. He started gabbing away about how it was neither. He was... I don't know where he started, but he talked for a good long time before he explained... a sand crab in the sand for a long time digging holes in the dirt. I don't know. Maybe he got his science lesson mixed up with his religion lesson hence the reincarnation. Who can explain a three year old's mind?

I asked him if he was indeed a sand crab how he became a little boy living in our family. Well, of course, everything has a reasonable explanation. Nathan, the sand crab, was picked up by God, changed into a little boy, put into my tummy until he was ready to come out of my throat. Uh huh.

I decided to tell him the hard truth. He was never a sand crab. He was a baby that grew in my uterus. He told me, "No." I, the mother, had to take out his baby book and show him proof of him being in a uterus not a beach. Maybe he was confused, because he told me inside was sandy. Well, maybe it's me who's confused. It's been a long time since I was inside one, so who am I to say?

I think he got over the shock of not being a sand crab and started acting like a normal male. He tried to fix something. It occurred to him that it was probably pretty dark inside a uterus. We have to put a lantern inside so babies can see things and not be so cold.

Maybe we need to start watching more late night TV for him to understand the whole "birds and the bees".