I had been looking forward to Wednesday for a week or two. It was the beginning of my morning Bible study at church. All of the children now go to the children ministry classes, and Kaeley even volunteers in the classroom, so I get two hours in the morning to chat with fellow Believing women of different ages and life stages and listen to a great speaker. I couldn't wait!
Wednesday morning Simon woke at 2:30am and fell back asleep. Then he woke at 4:30am. Then he woke at 5:30am. By 5:30am I gave up. I had Brad cuddle with him while I took a shower. By the time I was out of the shower, as to be expected, Daddy and Son were back to sleep, which was good. By 7:00am that morning I had started two loads of laundry, done my daily reading, and had finished cutting a frustrating amount of coupons.
The kids woke up and I served breakfast. I got dressed all fancy in celebration of my morning Bible study. I had on my grey leggings, my new boots, and a tunic top. I even unwisely topped it all off with a very non-mom necklace. The necklace is so my style, but it's large and dangly and has already been broken once when I was changing a diaper on the floor and Simon got his foot stuck in the loops of the chain. But what did I care? I was on top of the housework, felt great, was really tired, and was going to be at Bible study within the next two hours. I even planned on going to Jamba Juice with a good coupon so I could enjoy a special treat.
By 8:30am all of that loveliness had faded. I was tired. Kaeley felt her usual page of Math was torturous. She was so excited about volunteering with younger children that she filled the house with an air of "Who cares about YOU, Mom? I'm going to help OTHERS!" Arguing ensued at every point. As a last draw I threatened she would be in the sanctuary with me and her school work if she couldn't change her attitude.
I thought for sure that would whip her into shape. Well, while it was a good scare, it wasn't enough. She was in class with me that morning. And I left the house late, quite frustrated, and no time for Jamba Juice.
Oh well, I could at least have the three youngest in their classes. I dropped them off and tried to calm down while chatting with friends. I felt like I had just downed three cups of espresso. Within five minutes the head of nursery came inquiring about a rash that Simon had all over his tummy, upper arms, and upper legs. I said it was fever-related hives and no one else in the family had caught them. She asked if I had been to the doctor's. I hadn't. I kept thinking they would eventually go away. He's had hives before and they eventually healed up.
Within five minutes of being at study I had two children in sanctuary with me. I had baby food on my leggings. Every time I moved from my spot on the floor my boots scraped together and made noises. I had some white stuff in my clean hair. I spent the first twenty minutes of Bible study chasing after a very active baby. I finally told Kaeley it was pointless. I told her to pack up her school. We were going home. I was on my way out trying to fight the tears of disappointment.
Thank God, the leader of study offered to hold Simon so I could listen to the lesson. She took Simon away where he could play and crawl and I stayed just long enough to finish the lesson. I was so thankful for the woman who took Simon.
I came home humbled. What a morning of aggravations and broken expectations. Yet I treat these "hardships" as the worse possible fates in life. I am quite spoiled. The LORD, in all His goodness and mercy, is working on my heart. I can already feel the difference. I, of course, didn't get a nap, but I got a rest on the couch for a little while. Nathan didn't take a nap, so he and Kaeley helped me clean the house. (After all that complaining from a seven year old I thought the least they could do was get more chores.) We left for Small Group and I was quite amazed to feel my heart soften. In the past I probably would have still been playing the victim card, but what annoyances have I faced that has not already been faced by humanity? What larger and deeper problems are missionaries facing as they pour out their lives for their fellow man?
The morning was not fun, but it wasn't the worse either. It is what it is I suppose.
I can tell you that the first thing I did when I came home was change from my fancy, high fashion outfit, which was dirty anyway, into some comfortable jeans and tennis shoes.
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